Today I “read out my Step one”, to use 12 Steps parlance. It’s a big milestone for addicts.
In everyday language, that means I spent three hours at my sponsor’s house, reading out my answers to questions from Step one in a book called the NA Step Working Guide.
I like Russell Brand’s version of Step one – we admitted we’re a bit fucked and need some help. That certainly applies to me.
I’ve written my answers gradually over the last two months. There was a lot of procrastination and maybe a touch of fear. I’d been a bit worried I’d get into an intellectual debate with my sponsor, which was the last thing I wanted. I’m comfortable with my beliefs and don’t want someone to try to fill my head with dogma or unsolicited advice.
Thankfully that didn’t happen. We shared our own experiences and opinions very honestly. And today has actually been really enjoyable. I’m glad I did it. I get on well with my sponsor and I’m grateful to him for giving his time to help me so freely.
And so now it’s on to Step two…
But fortunately I think I’ve done most of the hard work for that already, especially around my personal concept of God / Higher Power.
Bring it on!