Mixtape Visualiser

I’m a drug addict.

Fortunately, thanks to the 12 Steps, I’m an addict in active recovery.

That means I can’t take drugs ever again, or I’ll be on the fast-track to divorce and homelessness, or maybe even jail, institutions and death.

Fuck, I can’t even drink wine any more.

Cheeky glass of Barefoot White Zinfandel? Nope.

Comforting sips of delicious port over the Christmas holidays? Not a chance.

I love exploring different ideas and experiencing new things. Something I used to love to do was to smash my brain into a different dimension with my drug of choice, DXM. I’d lie on my bed, headphones on, listening to my favourite music. And what I’d experience would be totally out of this world.

Music sounds even better when you’re fucked on DXM. It’s fucking awesome.

But, like I say, I can’t do that any more. Unfortunately.

So, what’s the closest I can get to being fucked off my face and exploring other dimensions inside my own mind, but without taking drugs?


I listen to this mixtape every day. It’s now my favourite piece of music ever.

Bless you, Flume, you take me closer to God.

2 thoughts on “Mixtape Visualiser

  1. I can relate to the struggles of drug and alcohol abuse. Paired with mental illness it makes for a messy road. While I have not removed those vices from my life completely, I have cut down dramatically and it has been for the better.


    1. The relationship between drugs and mental illness certainly isn’t as simple as some might imagine. To my amazement, one mental health nurse told me that my depression would be fine if I just stopped taking drugs. Some people self-medicate and find that drugs/alcohol can genuinely be helpful for their mental health. Drugs like DXM (my drug of choice) and ketamine have shown some early promise in the treatment of serious depression. But, self-medicating is a big risk. Things can easily get out of control and suddenly the drugs can make everything catastrophically worse. That’s certainly been my experience anyway. I wish I could use drugs sensibly and in moderation, but sadly I’ve proven to myself repeatedly that I can’t.


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