My heart sank. I couldn’t find my phone anywhere.
“Noooooo!”Me, eyes wide in terror
The sense of panic was snowballing. Where could I have left it? Did I drop it somewhere?
If I retrace my steps, will it still be where I’ve left it? Will someone have stolen it? Maybe a kind stranger will find it and hand it in to the police. I really hope they do.
How much would it cost to replace? I’m sure it was over £500. And I have no phone insurance. Can I realistically afford to get a replacement?
My internal monologue was fully revved up. My heart was hammering and my breaths were short and fast.
And then I remembered: It doesn’t have to be like this.
I don’t have to feel this way if I don’t want to. I can choose how I think, feel and behave. And that’s all I can do.
I can’t control anything outside myself. What will be, will be.
For a while now, I’ve been learning about Stoic and Buddhist ideas. They share quite a few things in common. I’ve been trying to implement many of their ideas in my life, with some success. Yesterday was perhaps my greatest success yet.
If I’m meant to find my phone, I will find it. Fate has already decided. If my phone is meant to leave my possession now, or if it’s broken, then it was the right time for these events to take place.
What will be, will be, and I can’t affect it.
So, I may as well stay calm and enjoy myself until I’ve finished what I need to do. Then I can calmly and quietly try to find my phone.
And I was calm. And I enjoyed myself. The stress, panic and anxiety just melted away.
I returned home at precisely the time when destiny intended for me to get home.
And there, waiting for me, was my phone.