What I’m Learning From Therapy

I recently took the decision to start therapy. I’d spotted a long-term unhelpful pattern in my behaviour and decided I wanted to get to the bottom of it.

My therapist (Christina) is awesome. We chat via text almost every day. I love communicating so frequently – the traditional therapy model of an hour once per week just wouldn’t cut it for me.

I much prefer communicating via text chats like this (rather than phone or face-to-face). Yeah, I guess I’m weird.

Therapy isn’t cheap, but I feel like I’m getting tremendous value for money here.

Here’s some of the stuff I’m learning thanks to therapy:

  • A lot of my issues stem from specific events in childhood (cliché, but true in my case). The great news is that it’s perfectly possible to heal from these wounds in adulthood.
  • I don’t feel any sense of blame or resentment for my past. What’s happened has happened – and everyone involved was doing the best they could at the time.
  • For a long time, I’ve been searching for something outside myself to make up for a (perceived) lack within me. It’s like trying to fill an insatiable void. And it doesn’t work.
  • This (partially) explains my addictions – to drugs, to sugar, and in some cases to other people.
  • The (blindingly obvious in hindsight) solution is to recognise that I can generate a sense of love, belonging, worthiness and safety from within myself. I don’t need to look to anything (or anyone) external.
  • Once I’ve got my sense of worthiness and self-esteem under control and suitably bolstered, I anticipate that my addictive behaviours will naturally drop off.
  • In turn, as my addictions drop off, I’ll see a decrease in my impulsive, destructive behaviours (e.g. my habit of impulsively ending friendships at the slightest whiff of rejection or criticism).

Many people (including myself) assume that therapy is inevitably a long, drawn-out process, taking months or even years.

However, fast results are possible in some cases, especially if (like me) you already have quite a lot of insight into your own issues and just need gentle nudges from a therapist.

Believe it or not, I’ve achieved all the above insights within just one week of starting therapy with Christina. Not bad.

I’ll write more as I discover further insights from therapy.

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